Get More Laughter In Your Life!
David Granirer - North America's Psychotherapist/Stand-Up Comic
Volume 1, Issue 5
Editor: David Granirer, granirer@pro.net
Publisher: David Granirer http://www.granirer.com
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IN THIS ISSUE
1. Welcome from the Publisher
2. Tips For Using Humor With People In Emotional Pain
3. What's Good Stories
4. Classified Ads
5. Contact Information
PRIVACY STATEMENT: WE WILL NOT DISTRIBUTE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO ANYONE. PERIOD
1. WELCOME FROM THE PUBLISHER
Hi Folks,
My last month's article "Tips For Using Humor With People In Emotional Pain" struck a chord with some readers. Noel McNaughton wrote "When my first wife died many years ago, I needed to talk, and especially to laugh, but people didn't know what to talk to me about. The odd person was able to just relax around me (without worrying about talking about 'it'), and I could have a few laughs about everyday life."
Sometimes just being able to relax with someone and joke about everyday life is the best kind of support we can offer.
*****Come Have A Laugh!*****
My stand-up comedy shows continue at Cafe Madeleine, 3763 West 10th Ave, Vancouver Clean intelligent comedy in a smoke-free environment, Fridays at 8:00 p.m.
Reservations recommended 224-5558. Bring in this blurb and buy 1
entree, get 2nd for 50% off.
Also if you've ever had a dream to do comedy, my 8-week Stand-Up Comedy Clinic Course at Langara College starts again on May 16 and May 24. To register call Langara at 323-5322, course #104101.
2. TIPS FOR USING HUMOR WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE
by David Granirer (c) 2000
We've all encountered them. People who constantly complain, blame others and who's focus in life seems to be mostly negative. They may be coworkers, acquaintances, or family members. And I'm often asked at my presentations, "What do you do to reach them with humor?" So let me try and answer this question in a way that addresses what I call "the psychology of negativity."
The behaviors we consider negative such as obsessive complaining, blaming, and constant focus on what's wrong with the world are unconscious defense mechanisms. They protect people from the risk of developing relationships with others. Or to put it another way, if a person is able to keep everyone at a distance, they protect themselves from being rejected and from being hurt by another human being. Of course the down side of these defense mechanisms, which usually develop as the result of some early trauma or unmet needs, is that they prevent any relationships at all.
Healthy humor on the other hand, is a relationship builder. When people laugh together or share a moment of kindness, it increases their connection to each other. So with humor and negativity you have two opposing forces, one which creates relationship and one which resists it.
So when using humor with so-called negative people keep in mind that their refusal to participate often has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their need to protect themselves. In other words, it's nothing personal.
Depending on how deeply entrenched people's defenses are, your success rate will vary. Some people will take a while to trust, but can be coaxed out of their shell. Others may not. Remember, my definition of humor is: Acts involving some sort of surprise which make people feel good. So I'd recommend maybe going out of your way to give a compliment or a kind word and then gauging the response you get. You may be surprised at how a small act of kindness can get through to someone. Or not. The important point is to decide how far you want to go in trying to connect with this person. And also to remember that at some point if their behavior becomes destructive to you, you have the right to set boundaries and protect yourself.
For free articles about laughter go to
<http://www.granirer.com>
*****GET MORE LAUGHTER IN YOUR LIFE!*****
Check out David's tapes, posters, buttons at
<http://www.granirer.com/Products.htm>
3. WHAT'S GOOD STORIES
It's so easy to see all the bad things around us, that sometimes we forget about all the great things that go on. And we need to hear about good things because that gives us hope and inspires us to go out and do more good things.
In this section, I want to hear from you. What's happened in your life that's good? What things have people done that inspire you to be kind to others? What funny things have happened?
Email your short stories to me at granirer@pro.net, and if I publish yours, you get a free copy of my tape "I'm OK But YOU Need Professional Help!"
This month's story is contributed by Wendy Edey, a counselling psychologist who specializes in hope and humour. She is Director of Counselling at The Hope Foundation of Alberta, a University of Alberta Centre for hope research. Their web site is <http://www.ualberta.ca/hope>
I run laughter sessions for people who are ill or depressed. Quite often I ask the class to brainstorm ten things you can do when you're in pain. The lists differ slightly, but sex, drugs and singing are always on the list alongside things like physiotherapy and taking a hot bath.
So far none of my classes have opted for in-class sex or drugs, but they surely have done a lot of singing. Everyone groans and laughs with disbelief when I introduce the idea of singing, but I have found that people expect and demand a song if we sing at two consecutive sessions and not at the third.
We sing silly, catchy songs, the kind you learn at summer camp. We do actions and use different voices for different verses. Sometimes we repeat one verse at escalating levels until we can't sing any louder, or until all the people down the hall in other conference sessions end up singing along with us.
One popular song was introduced to me in a crowd of 1000 by M. Scott Peck. Sung to the tune of On Top Of Old Smoky, it goes like this.
If God can love turkeys then god can love you.
For you are a turkey and I am one too.
So when you are lonely, remember its true.
If God can love turkeys then God can love you.
Editor's note: This month I have a second "What's Good" story, and it's something that happened to me. Several months ago I was tentatively booked to speak at an event. The planner was also looking for other speakers, so I recommended Jeff Mowatt, who gives wonderful presentations on the art of client service - influence with ease. He can be reached at jmowatt@attglobal.net
Well in a twist of fate, they ended up booking Jeff and deferring me to next year. I was somewhat disappointed, but gave the matter no more thought until about a month later I opened the mail and there was a $500 check from Jeff as his way of saying thanks for recommending him. Quite frankly, I was blown away, as this was totally unexpected.
Jeff's act of kindness really made me think about integrity and acknowledging people who help us along the way, and I thank him for inspiring and setting an example for me to follow.
4. CLASSIFIED ADS
Speakers: Learn how to incorporate stand-up comedy into your
presentations. Check out David's stand-up comedy skills coaching
for presenters at: <www.granirer.com/ComedyCourse.htm>
5. CONTACT INFORMATION
David Granirer gives laughter in the workplace presentations for hundreds of organizations throughout North America. For more information on his presentations, stand-up comedy, products, and articles call (604) 205-9242 or go to http://www.granirer.com
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