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ATTENTION: GET MORE LAUGHTER IN YOUR LIFE! Please help us grow by forwarding this ezine on to others!
IN THIS ISSUE PRIVACY STATEMENT: WE WILL NOT DISTRIBUTE YOUR 1. WELCOME FROM THE PUBLISHER ****Come Have A Laugh!**** My stand-up comedy shows continue at Cafe Madeleine, 3763
West 10th Ave., Vancouver. Clean, intelligent comedy in a smoke-free
environment, Fridays at 8:00 p.m. Reservations recommended (604)
224-5558. Bring in this newsletter and buy one entree, get
second for 50% off. Opening the show are students from my Langara
College Stand-Up Comedy Clinic Course. 2. MEN, WOMEN AND HUMOR A recent study indicates that men are more receptive to cruel, put-down humor than are women. But why is this? Are we really just insensitive jerks, or is there something more at work here? As a female student did her routine in my stand-up comedy class I watched the response. The women thought she was hilarious, while the men hardly reacted. Thatís because what we see as humorous depends on our being able to relate emotionally. Most of her act was about body image and housekeeping, topics that for most men have little emotional resonance. And since men and women have different emotional experiences it makes sense that they would laugh at different things. But that still doesnít explain why men are more receptive to put-down humor. Here again emotions play a role. And please bear in mind that Iím speaking in generalities. In general, men are conditioned to not express "soft" feelings like sadness, whereas women are raised to believe these feelings are okay. Most men have had the experience of being shamed and humiliated by another male. (Remember high school PE class?) In these situations, expressing anger only makes the situation worse, since the aggressor is physically stronger. And crying is not only socially unacceptable, but also makes one an attractive target for further bullying. So there is no way for a male to express emotion in these situations. Thatís when he resorts to humor as a way of venting his feelings of hurt, anger and powerlessness. And unfortunately, many of us have an unhealthy defense mechanism whereby we attempt to feel better or regain a sense of power by laughing at others who have endured similar circumstances. Thus the attraction to put-down humor.Iím not condoning put-down humor, but I think it helps to understand where it comes from. Though these bullying incidents may have happened years ago, they leave an emotional residue that sometimes lasts the rest of our lives. It is only by acknowledging and dealing with these emotions directly that we can lessen the need to express them indirectly through put-down humor. Also, when people realize that using put-down humor merely expresses how powerless and hurt they feel, they stop seeing those jokes as funny. Another factor to consider is that men (once again Iím generalizing) are uncomfortable expressing affection (another "soft" feeling) for other men, so they tend to express it through insults. When one man says to another "Hey ya moron" he really means "I like you." So are men insensitive jerks when it comes to using humor? I prefer to think of it as being unaware of how we express certain emotions. And as we grow to own and express those emotions directly, especially our "soft" ones, the need to use put-down humor will decrease. For other free articles about laughter go to www.psychocomic.com/Articles.htm For free back issues of this ezine go to www.psychocomic.com/Newsletter.htm *****GET MORE LAUGHTER IN YOUR LIFE!***** 3. WHAT'S GOOD STORIES Itís so easy to see all the bad things around us, that sometimes we forget about all the great things that go on. And we need to hear about good things because that gives us hope and inspires us to go out and do more good things. In this section, I want to hear from you. Whatís happened in your life thatís good? What things have people done that inspire you to be kind to others? What funny things have happened? Email your short stories to me at david@psychocomic.com, and
if I publish yours, you get a free copy of my tape "Iím
OK But YOU Need Professional Help!" 4. AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP If anyone has a good cause theyíd like to promote please email me at david@psychocomic.com. Craig Senior of Ottawa, Ontario, wrote: My role is to provide public speaking training and coaching to the young people, at summer camp, so they feel more comfortable speaking in classrooms and corporate boardrooms. It's the most amazing feeling seeing the improvement in their self-esteem and self-confidence in only a few days. The year-to-year change is just magical. While, as a charity, they can always use financial assistance,
equally important is the difference you can make to a young person.
L.O.V.E. has branches in Halifax, Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver. Contact Twinkle Rudberg twinkrud@aol.com and ask, "How can I help?" or visit www.leaveoutviolence.com Kind regards, Editorís Note: How appropriate given that being on
the receiving end of violence often leads people to use put-down
humor as a way of venting their emotions. 5. CLASSIFIED ADS Speakers/Presenters: Learn how to incorporate stand-up
comedy into your presentations. Check out Davidís
stand-up comedy skills coaching for presenters at:
6. CONTACT INFORMATION David Granirer gives laughter in the workplace presentations helping hundreds of organizations throughout North America reduce stress, increase wellness, and cope with change. For more information on his presentations, stand-up comedy, products, and articles call (604) 205-9242 or go to www.psychocomic.com Special thanks to www.e-zinez.com
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